I rarely watch the news. Last night I remembered one of the reasons why.
We have had a lot of snow this winter, and I wanted to find out how much snow the news said had fallen in the previous snow storm. I watched the first ten minutes of the news; it was all snow related: how to shovel correctly, people getting plowed into parking spots, how much snow had fallen in the area, and the kindness of people during the latest snow epidemic. All I can say is it is obvious that we are out of football season and the Bucks suck (though I heard they are encountering an injury malaise).
So, what finally made me stop watching? I have decided that the news makes me paranoid, or more realistically, makes me aware that I am a paranoid person. They were providing a community service by warning people to make sure their furnace vent wasn't covered by snow due to the risk of carbon monoxide. The fireman glibly said, "If you don't uncover it, you probably won't wake up." My mind went into panic mode, and I ran to my front door, which incidently really seems to be my back door. I ripped the door open and looked around. Where was my furnace vent? Was it covered by snow? Was I going to die tonight? My eyes scanned the wall, where was it? My furnace vent was gone! Who took it? I was completely mystified. Should I call the police or the glib fireman? Do I have a furnace vent? Yes, I think so. And if I do, it is definitely covered in snow. Do the groundskeepers know not to kill me by covering the vent? Maybe it was a plot to encourage my demise.
What do I do? Obviously, I do the only thing to do. I lock the door, and instead of digging out the furnace vent, I dig out the carbon monoxide detector. I put in new batteries and test it. It works; but, unfortunately, the beeping is so loud and high pitched that I am now partially deaf, so I might end up not waking up for the simple fact that when the carbon monoxide detector goes off, I won't hear it.
I guess I'll just stay uninformed, I mean did I really need to know we got 16" of snow? Not really, people had been telling me that all day.
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6 comments:
i laughed out loud. thank you.
reasons i hate weather reports, in particular:
1. winter weather advisories - its the middle of winter in michigan. do i really need to be advised that the weather might be wintery?
2. reports that there is a 70% chance of rain or snow as i am watching the precipitation from my window. seems like it might actually be closer to 100%, eh?
3. the tracking of storm systems that bring 3-4 inches of snow, but the weather person treats the weather system as if lake michigan has conjured up the ability to produce hurricanes.
4. the constant updates and reminders that it continues to snow. i know that it is snowing, i woke up today.
5. the hashing and rehashing of past weather. again, i know what the weather was already like today, could we please focus on tomorrows gloom and doom forecast?
6. it doesn't really matter what they say. they are wrong.
7. the constant interruption of programs such as 30 rock, to remind me that bingo at the lodge is canceled. people who play bingo at the lodge or bridge at st. stevens diocese don't watch 30 rock. people that watch 30 rock go outside anyway.
i could go on, and that was just my irritation with weather. there are many other aspects of local news that have problems with.
sorry about the comment that took your whole page.
I laughed as well. Megan made me laugh too. Ahh snow. We don't have any.
I am glad you are still alive! I would have done the exact same thing. Where did we get the paranoia from anyway?
Ha ha HA!! I would never have thought of checking for that vent. . . and would have no idea where to look either. Heck, I didn't have any idea what my roommate was talking about when she said she put the spare key on the air conditioner which apparently is outside on our back wall! Who knew?! (must be why it's a good place to hide a key...)
Ha ha HA!! I would never have thought of checking for that vent. . . and would have no idea where to look either. Heck, I didn't have any idea what my roommate was talking about when she said she put the spare key on the air conditioner which apparently is outside on our back wall! Who knew?! (must be why it's a good place to hide a key...)
ooops! How did I publish twice?! I am having the worst luck with unintentionally sending things today...(check your Facebook to find out why).
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