Addendum - especially for Tommy

I just wanted to clear something up since Tommy thinks I am a skank. I was going to write and assure you all that Megan wasn't the one with the mug shot, but she took care of that in the comment section, though I had a great laugh at her comment's lack of clarity. Let me give a little bit of background, due to multiple jobs, and always being in transit, I could, at some times in my life, live out of my car.

So, I guess everyone doesn't know my bra, panties and officer story. I was on my way to work one day when I passed a police officer pulled over to the side, watching a four-way stop. At the stop sign, I gave significant pause. (I have no luck at all with the police. In fact, for the longest time, just as my ticket and points would clear for the year, I would get pulled over again.) As I pull through the intersection, the lights go on. About 20 yards after the intersection, I pull over and get out my license, totally not understanding what I could have done wrong. Did I pause too long? The officer comes up and I hand him my license. He asks me if I know why he pulled me over, and I said no. "Your plates are expired. Can I see your registration?"

"Officer, my plates aren't expired, I just forgot to put the sticker on." Like I am going to freeze my butt off in December putting on a little sticker? No way, granted I should have gotten around to it before August. I reach for my glove compartment and pull out my registration and the little sticker that should have been put on my plate 8 months ago. The thing is, my glove compartment is like my mother's purse - you can find everything in there. So, before I can get to the registration, I have dig out sunglasses, deodorant, and the infamous bra and panties.

As I hand the officer my registration, he grins at me. It suddenly dawns on me that I have sent a pair of undies and my bra flying, a little embarrassed at his smile, I am further humiliated by his comment, "You're prepared." (Or it was something to that extent, it was over a year ago, and I try to suppress embarrassing moments. Jen, do you remember what I told you he said?)

He goes to his squad car, and I shove everything back in my glove compartment. He returns, "You're plates are registered, you are fine to go, only if you promise me you will put on the sticker."

"I will put the sticker on as soon as I get to work."

I got to work, unscrewed the plastic cover, and put on the sticker.

Horrible Pictures

I have had some horrible pictures in my day. For instance, I am thrilled that my passport is to expire next year because my picture looks as if someone blew my face up with a bellows. I have had to use that passport for nearly a decade now, and every time I go anywhere I am dismayed at how tragic a photo it truly is. I mean all over the world I have been seen as "that girl with the obnoxiously fat face, you know, the one who looks like she was an animated character in a sinus commercial."

I don't know if it was how I did my hair that day (I will admit to being vain, I had intentionally curled my hair that day in hopes of having a good picture, maybe my vanity was the reason the universe gave me a horrible picture), the shirt I wore, my fat face or what weird mixture of the above made the photo so horrendous. But there it is, thankfully it will be rectified next year.

Then there is my dmv photo. My hair in uncurled, but somehow, my face is still fat. In addition, my head is tilted, like Lucky would do when we used a high voice. So, not only is it bad enough that they ask you your weight, but then as you are still reflecting whether you should have lied or not, snap, your fate is determined for the next 8 years. 8 years. 2014 - maybe I'll mysteriously lose my license (no, I am way too cheap to pay for a replacement). Quickie marriage? I should probably just deal with the bad photo. Compounded with that, you only have to show your license in some really uncool situations i.e. when the police officer pulls you over and before you know it, he has seen your bra, panties, and horrible picture.

All these thoughts on bad pictures began when I saw the mug shot of someone I knew. Why is it that like the dmv and passport photos, one needs to be totally demoralized at this juncture? Like getting arrested isn't bad enough, you also have to get a picture for the whole world to see that makes you look like you don't know where the camera is. I mean what do the police do, wake you up in the middle of the night for your picture, hoping to get you looking like you are stoned? Or maybe they say, "One, Two, Look Lost and Don't Smile." Click.

How can you make a leader board without any points?

My friend Matty just sent me this link.

http://www.milwaukeelawnbowls.org/results.php

In it, it reflects the leader board for the various standings of tournaments and other lawnbowling competitions. The sport was a little harder than anticipated, similar to bocce ball, but with a twist - the ball curls as you bowl it.

Inititally, I thought it was pretty cool to have my name there, but now I just feel like a loser. Sadly, not only do I have zero points (they misspelled my last name, too), but I have negative "Plus Points."

Up Nort'

This weekend I had the chance to have a girl's weekend in a wonderful cabin. We began Friday afternoon and I was reminded how much I love driving up towards the Twin Cities; the area around Eau Claire just stuns me with its beauty - especially now with the vibrant fall colors. All of us were awestruck as we peered out the windows and just let our eyes absorb the rolling hills and colors. It was truly beautiful to see the reds, oranges, yellows and browns.

Anyways, it was a great weekend, even if I do need a break from Jane Austen (we watched Pride and Prejudice (the 5 hour version), Emma, and Sense and Sensibility. I love the chance to be in a place where there is no sound except your footsteps and the jingle of the dogs' collars. It was just so relaxing and beautiful.

Free Time

I am currently subbing for a teacher with a student teacher. This means that I basically have nothing to do all day while the student teacher teaches the class. So I guess I am being paid to catch up on my blog.

3 weeks ago was a pretty stressful time. It was a fun time though since my sister was here and we had baby showers, went to the Packer game, decorated my place a little bit more and just enjoyed being together as a family (we were, however, incomplete since Lucky, Mike and Mike's dog were still in Portland). This is why there was such a huge gap in my blog.

I have, however, finished the really long blog that had kept me from posting so long. It involves customers from hell, it is really long, it took me almost the whole three weeks to get to and type. If you are really bored. I posted it the date of the day after it occured, September 21.

Where is fall?

I am really bitter about the weather. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. My sister called to complain the other day that it was in the 40’s and 50’s. I long for those temperatures. I am sorry, but it is not right to have 80-degree days in October. Now is the time when I should be happy that I only have to wear a long sleeve shirt instead of the impending long sleeve shirt and sweater. I should be in eager anticipation of the leaves changing color instead of contemplating putting on the air conditioning. I should be waking up shivering as a cool breeze flows over my bed instead of hoping my fan will keep me from sweating under a thin sheet. I really want to start wearing my fall wardrobe, I am sick of my short sleeve shirts. My mother was incredulous the other day when I was in a cardigan on the nearly 90-degree day. But really, what else can I do when the weather is being so obstinate? I wanted to wear a sweater.

Slacker

My sister called me the other day to tell me that I have been a slacker in regards to posting. I must admit I am a little disappointed in myself. I got totally overwhelmed with customers from hell (an über long blog to come in the upcoming days). I apologize, I hate when a blog isn’t updated in a timely manner. And here I am, guilty of the same faux pas.

Piping Travesty Averted

My condo has issues. It started as some water in the basement. The end result was re-plumbing all of the pipes in two bathrooms. Every day I learn of another leak or issue. Every day I came home to a new hole in my bathroom wall. All said and done, I was lucky. I found the leak before it became a huge issue, and the repairs were handled in a speedy manner and the plumber was a Godsend. I don’t know why I am so blessed; it really could have been a plumbing tragedy instead of a plumbing mishap. So, now my biggest issue is deciding what color to paint my bathroom.