Ode to the Next Generation

I subbed today. It is slowly leading to my demise. It is sometimes so disillusioning to see the next generation in action.

Gym Chutzpah

After subbing today, I decided that I was going to quit the gym. I just am not a gym sort of girl. I mean if it is actually warm here in WI, I want to be outside, and if not, I need an extra layer of fat to keep me warm in the snow.

I parked at the gym and headed towards the door. Now my gym isn't always staffed, but I knew that the trainer often was there in the early afternoon. I also have seen him interact with other quitters, so I thought I might have a chance. So, as I was walking past the doors, I was sneaking a peak inside to see if he was there. I saw him, and only then realized that it probably looked like I was checking him out. Which in all honesty I have done while I have been there exercising.

I used my card to enter, and strode right over to him passing a person who actually uses the gym and was hot - both in the sweaty sense and physical attractiveness. I stayed focused, who cares if this hot guy I just passed works out here, to foster a relationship, I would have to work out. Eyes on the prize I stepped up to the trainer and in a fashion totally atypical of me, I said exactly what I wanted to say, "Can I talk to you about quitting?"

He just smiled, making me recall the other times he has been there while I was working out. I think his smile was repressing his inner thought of: Yeah, I've seen you work out a couple of times, it really wasn't going well. Maybe you just aren't cut out to exercise. Maybe you should move to Alaska where a parka would be every day wear. It might at least mask your colossal thighs. Instead, he got up and handed me a form of termination.

"So, if I sign this today, I will be done as of May 31st?"

"Yeah, but make sure you hold on to your card."

"Because then I can just rejoin in September if I want to without paying the extra fee?"

"Exactly."

After signing with an extra bit of flourish, I handed him my form, "I just couldn't find a time that worked out for me."

"It's really hard in winter to want to leave your house."

I could've done a quick workout before heading to my other job, but I figured that I shouldn't bother, I just got everything I wanted, why would I ruin it. Plus, I had to contemplate why I can't just tell people what I want in my every day life. Really, why can't I just stride in with confidence in other situations? Why does my non-existent confidence only surface to help me quit?

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

My lack of sleep of late hasn't been due to the 4 month old upstairs, but due to the 12 and 4 year old.  The latter two have been sharing my bed.  Not only do they take up a lot of space, they are hairy and make me so hot.  Plus, they lick my face all the time.

  

Utterly exhausted, I went upstairs to find my sister in bed with the baby, so I just threw myself on the end of the bed and asked if maybe I took a W if they would leave me alone.   I put on swishy pants and the dogs went crazy.  We headed out and took a long walk.  Once home, all three of us felt better.

Derek had started chatting while his mommy was vacuuming, so I went in to pick him up from his nap.  I noticed he was substantially heavier than usual.  I asked his mommy if he needed a change and she said yes.  So, we went to the changing table as Jen came in.  I opened up the diaper and Jen told me I would probably just want to leave because it was disgusting.  All week we have been planning a bath, so now seemed like a perfect time since he was covered.  So, since we put the diaper in the pail, I grabbed the naked one and headed for the sink.  Jen told me all week that I was being brave in my lack of covering Derek while changing him, I thought she was just supporting the urban myth that babies pee on you.  

Derek and I were patiently waiting by the sink when I all of a sudden was feeling warmth on my tummy.  I stuck Derek over the sink, and he stopped peeing.  So, I held him close again while telling Jen that I had been peed on.  Derek thought it was so cute, he went for Round 2.  I was soaked, but I couldn't put him down, we weren't ready with the bath!

Japanese Gardens

Jen, Derek and I went to the Japanese Gardens on Wednesday.  I did pretty good photography for not having a long arm.  

My Day - By Lucky Diamond

Auntie Alli has been a slacker and hasn't been blogging.  Thus, I guess I have to use my little paws and write about what I have been doing.  Auntie Alli came on Saturday.  The very first thing  I did when I saw her was start crying and give her tons of kisses.  I even kissed her before sticking my nose towards the cinnamon rolls she had in her other hand, rather noble of me I thought.

So, I have been playing a fun game with Auntie Alli.  Every morning between 5:30 and 6:30 I come to see her.  The first day she wasn't prepared for my visit, so she left her door closed.  There was nothing I could do but cry outside her door until she let me in for kisses.  She got smarter and started leaving her door open for my morning visits.  Now all I do is lean up beside her bed and she drags herself somewhat out of her stupor so that she can crawl to the side of her bed for kisses.  Then, she has been lifting me into bed (while she nearly falls out!) so we can take a morning nap.  The funny thing is, I can get into bed on my own, but I have been acting like I can't so she picks me up!  I am so sneaky, but she figured it out, so now I have to jump up or at least try a couple of times before she picks me up.

But I got away with my story, I wanted to tell you what I did yesterday.  My special bonding time with Mommy has always been while she is cooking.  We really bond while she is in the kitchen.  Plus, if she drops something, I can be a good little helper by cleaning it up.  I am willing to do my part.  Well, yesterday while she was cooking we weren't bonding.  She was busy making Indian food, and Aunt Alli was talking to the little one like Mommy does, telling him that he has a little butt, and that he is so cute.  

What the heck!?!  I am the cute one with the little butt, so maybe I am carrying my winter weight and my butt isn't the chicken butt it used to be.  But Mommy and Daddy don't take me on as many walks, and I am an emotional eater, regardless of the emotion.  But what got me really mad was that Auntie Alli is so impressed with what Derek does.  I do more than that little melon head - all he does he eat, sleep and occasionally poop, actually, I think we do about the same amount, but I have been here longer!  It's not like he can walk or anything.  Mommy says we are going to be great friends, I don't know, he is no Marty.

But again, I got sidetracked.  So, Mommy was cooking and not letting me help, so I decided I would help clean up while showing her that I could do more than Derek.  So I jumped.  I easily got the frozen garlic naan that was on the counter.  I then showed Mommy how fast I can move - Derek can't even roll over yet - although Auntie Alli does tell him that she will give him a dollar if he rolls over while she is here.  She has never given me a dollar, I really don't know what a dollar is, but that isn't the point.  Run, run, run while I munch, munch, munch.  I heard Mommy calling Auntie Alli to help, but she had Derek in her arms, I knew that I could outwit and outrun them easily.  So, I ate the whole piece of frozen naan.  Mommy and Auntie Alli were a little annoyed, but they were still laughing, affectionately calling me the little devil.  They decided not to tell Daddy (he doesn't find my athletic helping as cute), but I was really proud, so when Daddy came home, I demonstrated my feat again and took a piece of the cooked naan.  Daddy slapped my butt, and Mommy grabbed it out of my mouth.  This time when the word little devil was used, it wasn't as kind.  It kind of hurt, like the expanding naan in my tummy.  All night I had to take it easy, I might have overdone it with having that extra bite of naan.  

I included a picture of me after the naan, as you can see, I am trying to stretch out to accommodate the naan while trying to not succumb to the naan coma.    I also included one of me rolled over, and Derek not rolling over.

I am the meanest person ever

While I was flying to Portland, I was sitting next to someone who had a Scientific American magazine.  I looked at the magazine, I looked at the guy, and based on nothing other than the magazine, I decided that he was a total nerd.  As the flight went on, I realized that he probably looked at me, looked at my Finnish book, noticed me doing the crossword puzzle and Suduku and thought what a geek.  I guess it is easy to pick and choose what you determine is geeky.