My mom believed it to be very important to teach my sister and I about responsibility. However, she also realized that Jen and I were different and would best learn the lesson in different ways. She choose to teach my sister, who loved to read, with library books, and she choose to teach me, who loved chocolate, with candy bars.
My mom made it my sister's responsibility to return the books on time, if she didn't return them on time, she was responsible for the fines. My sister had been slacking in being responsible, and multiple times my mom had to take my sister at the last minute to avoid the dreaded 10 cent fine (that is a lot of money for a 10 year old in the 80s). Finally, my sister missed the due date, my mom was ecstatic, not because she wanted Jen to have to pay the money, but because she wanted my sister to learn responsibility and consequences. My mom was waiting in the car as my sister went in to pay the fine, returning to the car with a skip in her step, my sister informed my mom that the library had a two day grace period. My mom was a little annoyed, but she figured Jen had had a sufficient time in the car fretting about the fine due to her irresponsibility. She also got a mini-lesson in grace.
For me, the responsibility lesson also involved money, but instead of library books my conduit of learning was, ever so appropriate, chocolate. I had just finished helping my sister clean my dad's office building. Like any 10 year old, the 50 cents I had earned was burning a hole in my pocket as we went to Target. At the checkout, I asked my mom if I could buy a candy bar with my money. She first asked me how much I needed to tithe from my earnings. I did the math and realized that a nickel would go to God, leaving me with 45 cents. Since the candy bar, was 33 cents, I would still be able to get it, even with the government getting involved. The candy bar was gone before we even got in the car, but the sugary jolt probably lasted to my mother's dismay for the 15 minute ride home. At home I went off to play without a care in the world, however, a few hours later I remembered my 50 cents and asked my mom for my money. She told me she had put my tithe in my tithe bank and then handed me a dime. "But where is my 50 cents?" I whined. What next ensued was a lesson in economy: If you have 50 cents and give 5 to God, 35 to your chocolate addition, how much do you have left? A dime. My mom still attributes this lesson to the aversion I have for spending money - probably the reason why she buys me all of my chocolate these days.
Another great thing about my mom is our birthday cakes - really not everything is food related for me. To this day, I always get my favorite type of cake (and meal) on my birthday. When August rolls around, I am craving chocolate chip zucchini cake. However, she did not just make birthday cakes for Jen and me, every January she makes carrot cake with cream cheese frosting for my dad. Her is where her brilliance truly shines, she would have Jen and I help make the cake for my dad. I think every kid remembers licking off the beaters while making a cake, but mom was smart enough to realize that that probably wouldn't be enough for two little kids who would then have to wait for their dad to come home to enjoy the dessert. Thus, she always made extra frosting, and while we waited to celebrate my dad's birthday later that night, we would snack on graham crackers and frosting. To this day, I still associate graham crackers with cream cheese frosting.
I might as well continue by telling you how my mom made the ordinary seem like a treat. She had my sister convinced that Ritz crackers were cookies. She would give us water in the car when we were really really thirsty by telling us to hand us our cups (both water and cup were imaginary), and wouldn't stop pouring until we were satisfied.
My mom taught us to be crazy and have fun. I never was in need of a playmate as a kid, because she was more than willing to play whatever crazy game I thought would be fun. She even bought roller blades when I did so we could learn together - an endeavor from which her wrist has never recovered.
Not only was my mom great when I was young, she still takes care of me. The other day I was sick. Somehow, between my mom and dad, they decided that I was too sick to take care of myself. So, they kidnapped their 28 year old daughter to spoil while she was feeling sick. It recalled to me what I used to do on sick days, my mom would allow me to watch my favorite movies - the Beverly Hills Cop trilogy. To this day I associate being sick with watching those movies.
I really can't recall a single game that my mother didn't attend. The snow may have just melted, but she was still there in her shorts and headband cheering me on. She also made sure that my dad came to my games even though he would have to leave work early. When I went on to coaching, she also came to my games to cheer me and the girls on.
I knew my mom would always build me up and never shame me in public. The other day while I was working a mom said to her daughter that she smelled really bad and that her sister wasn't like that. I know she probably didn't think that their conversation was any of my business, but she said it loud enough that had I been twice the distance away I would have heard her. My heart ached for the little girl who felt so bad that she apologized to her mom. Her mom told her that she didn't need to apologize for smelling, but the damage was done. That little girl now thinks there is something wrong with her and that she doesn't measure up to her sister. I never felt that my mom thought I was a failure or disappointment.
I don't love my mom because she takes care of me or because she buys me chocolate, I love her because of how she has taught me that even if loving and caring for someone is a sacrifice, you can still do it with grace, patience, and laughter. In many ways, I think the major complaint I have is that she made being a mother look easy. If you don't think my mom is a rock star by the end of this, read here.
1 comment:
way to link to your sister's page.
your mom also rocks at making jello eggs, even muli colored ones.
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